laughing is good for your health

scene: A conversation with my friend’s father, who knows I do 
Web design.

Father: I have a business idea. How hard is it to make a Facebook?

Me: Oh, very easy.

Friend: He doesn’t mean to make 
a Facebook profile. He means to 
remake all of Facebook.

Me: Oh. Very hard.

Father: Oh, OK.

) Q: What's the difference between a car salesman and a computer salesman?
A: The car salesman can probably drive!

2) Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet, you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!

3) Q: "How many computer scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
A: "Five. Two write the specifications, one to prove their validity and two to implement it."
Q: "Well, how many hackers does it take?"
A: "One. But, hackers don't turn on the lights."

4) What kind of doctor fixes broken websites?
An URLologist.

5) Helpline? I've just pushed a piece of bacon into my disk drive! Has the computer stopped working?
No, but there's a lot of crackling.

6) My dog likes to sit down each evening and surf the Net. What an intelligent animal! Not really, it took the cat three weeks to teach him.

7) Suzy decided to improve her computer through books from the library.
The librarian commented, "Wow! You must really be getting knowledgeable at this stuff."
"Thanks," Suzy said. "What makes you say that?"
She answered, "Only one of the books you're checking out this week has 'For Dummies' in the title."

8) After I had a minor accident, the ER nurse asked my mother for my height and weight, and I blurted out, "Five-foot-eight, 125 pounds."
While the nurse pondered over this information, my mother leaned over to me. "Sweetheart," she gently chided, "this is not the Internet."

9) Q: How does Bill Gates get fresh air into his mansion?
A: One clicks on an icon and a window opens!

10) What’s O. J. Simpson’s Internet address?
Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

11) Student: "Would it be possible to install Arabic language support on those computers?" Computer Teacher: "In order to use Arabic language in Windows, you must install an Arabic graphic card. So I don't think we could do that."

12) Can you show me how to use the Internet?
I d better – otherwise you will just go round and round in circles.

13) What do you get when you cross a midget with a computer?
A short circuit.

14) Who's the chief of the internet?
E-ronimo!

15) Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Can't be done. It's a hardware problem.

16) Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?
No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.